SMILE

POINTLESS From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (92 days old)

The first thing Surf tells me this morning when he comes online. His date for tonight cancelled. GOOD! DICK. He's not made fuck all for plans with me. I am so sick of this shit! Why the fuc… more

thunderstorms From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (93 days old)

Hoorhey and I have been texting back and forth a few times a say, that is, he sends me a playful, flirty text and I play along. He's a sexy guy, open, confidant been through some stuff and genuinel… more

I got high and now I'm rambling... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (94 days old)

Sunday morning. Hella awful out. I thought it was Monday today as I stayed in last night and watched TELLY!I NEVER watch telly. SRSLY. I'm meat to spend the day with Sarie and E. We wanted to ta… more

Surf Forwards...FRIDAY NIGHT TRIP From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (95 days old)

Oh Surf! We got to chatting on Msn yesterday. He said he felt like I'd be avoiding him (online). I suppose I had been. Mostly because our conversations are so broken and pointless as he's at w… more

Sunday, Monday Blues From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (97 days old)

Bryan came over when I was a little sketch on Sunday night. Lo Lo had promised to have a sleepover with me but she finally texted me at 10 pm to say she wasn't coming. I kinda lost my shit on her as… more

Sunshine, Drugs and French Boys! From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (101 days old)

So a few texts from Surf... nothing has been fixed. I called him Sunday night for the first time ever without texting to ask if he was free first. He was at his friends cottage with a bunch of peopl… more

Sex on a Train From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (103 days old)

The stupid fucking magic 8 ball is still adamant that Surf and I will never have sex again. Can you believe we still haven't spoken? Goddamn it. I'm giving him his space.. doesn't mean I can't remin… more

I guess I'm slightly sad but I don't feel like crying... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (105 days old)

Tonight was a write off! I got a a message on my computer when I came upstairs from seeing the kid and the X off for their weekend at my parents house up north. It said, "S.O.S. PLEASE CALL ME!" from… more

{sigh} From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (105 days old)

I sent a txt to Surf asking him to txt me when he was free as I knew he had a friend staying over and that I didn't want to intrude but wanted to call him. He woke me up at midnight. I called him. … more

SURF, again. DAMMIT. From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (106 days old)

Surf and I messaged eachother at the same time today. He claimed he didn't get my facebook message from Saturday until this morning. He said it was up to me as I had ended it but that he didn't know … more

Surf and I are OVER From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (107 days old)

I just broke up with Surf. In a way it was pre-emptive but mostly Lo reminded me of all the things I don't like about the way he acts and I realised I needed to end it. I deleted him from my f… more

My magic 8 ball told me Surf and I are through :( From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (107 days old)

Well, we headed off to the all night electro party, popped some MDMA (for anyone who doesn't know, it's a purer form of ecstasy) and had an AMAZING night! We danced for about 5 hours! I kept touchin… more

I'm not trying to own you... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (109 days old)

OMG WHAT A NIGHT! None of my friends were free to go to the BBQ at Dave Dirts with me so I traveled on public transit all the way there. I went the wrong way at one point and added tons of time to m… more

Dave Dirt and our Amazing Night From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (110 days old)

What an amazing first date! Dave picked me up at 10:30 and we drove a neighbourhood we both know. He brought me some banana muffins he made me! I can't believe how sweet and thoughtful this guy is! … more

THURSDAY, fucking cellphones. From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (111 days old)

Stunt guy never got back to me which is hilarious because these things typically go the other way, that is, them looking and other people backing out. I sent him a playful message on facebook calling… more

straight up fucking From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (112 days old)

Surf didn't mention anything. I didn't either. He did reiterate that he doesn't feel 'that way' about me despite thinking I am so hot, so cool etc. I actually feel really good about this. In my hea… more

My magic 8 ball says Surf is falling for me... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (113 days old)

I didn't hear from Surf AT ALL Sunday. I've been preparing myself for the end, mentally saying my goodbyes. Over and over in my head I repeated, HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. No big deal. Doesn't ma… more

My tummy hurts. From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (115 days old)

I still haven't seen Surf. I'm not asking him anymore. Sometimes I wonder how much my attraction to him is based on him not wanting me. I LIKE him! How can HE not like ME!? SRSLY DOES NOT COMPUTE. … more

SIGH From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (118 days old)

And a week later... I don't know why I don't find the time to write this stuff down. This week has been a one learning experience after another. I've met some interesting boys. Irish is a … more

how am I someone MOM!? omg.. don't mess this up girl... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (124 days old)

My newly 3 year old E and I spent the afternoon wandering and blowing bubbles downtown. We shared a blue raspberry slushy which helped to erase the taste of the vanilla scented bubbles we'd popped on… more

From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (126 days old)

Ok, a lot has happened since my last post which was actually written more than 2 weeks ago. I chatted to my first love online last week. He took what little he knew about my life and somehow foun… more

STUPID BOYS From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

STUPID BOYS My week was mostly uneventful. I saw Max on Friday. He came to the Motown party my friends and I go to once a month. I wasn't with him more than 10 minutes when I realized that although I… more

My night with Surf (drunken bootycall?) From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

Surf and I chatted again on Tuesday. My internet started acting funny though so when I went offline he sent me lovely messages like 'COME BACK TO ME' and eventually texted me. He had dinner with his b… more

Our first kiss... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

Our first kiss... I was on my way out the door Monday night, hightailing it from my X who was in a very unpleasant mood, when Surf called and asked if I'd like to hang with him tonight. We'd been cha… more

Union Station, 3 PM From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

Union Station, 3 PM I met Surf on a dating website. I meet a lot of people that way. We've been chatting for maybe 3 weeks now, almost daily and I am growing very fond of him indeed! This is VERY … more

D man confesses his love for me From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

I've just come in from another messed up adventure with D. My heart is still racing. I should start at the beginning... D was the first guy I 'messed around' with after I split with my husband. … more

Being Desirable Changes You From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (127 days old)

{sigh} I'm a girl. A girl who used to weigh 350 pounds. I started gaining weight when I was quite young. I have never as an adult been a normal size. Until now. I never suffered from low se… more

The men... From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (245 days old)

I'm not sure where to start! I suppose I shall list them here in order of appearance (in my life!) and then profile them individually. Ok, first is deffo Mr. Pescoe. OMG Marcy and I had a mental… more

I endevor to be a better blogger...AGAIN. From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (245 days old)

I've been gone a long time. I keep wanting to get back on here; start clearing my head the way I used to. But I've not know where to start explaining where I am to where I was when I last blogged. … more

catching up From sterces in Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer. (357 days old)

I know, I've been gone awhile BUT I've had a lot going on! We're in Canada! Took bloody long enough! We've only JUST settled down in our new condo in downtown Toronto. I fall asleep at night watc… more